Yes, the second round didn't work for me either. I was on 100mg....and ovulated around CD16/17, with ultrasound showing normal ovulation as compared to in the past. So clomid didn't help me to ovulate faster, nor more eggs....
Decided to take a break and just, just be 'natural'....
My gynae explained that clmoid probably didn't work because of my adenomyosis condition. The estrogens/hormones from the endo attached to my uterus back walls probably 'prevented' clomid from working its magic. My own hormones have a mind of their own.
Granted, I do ovulate. Just that there's a slim chance of pregnancy given my adenomyosis conditon and husband's low motility....
We shall plough on. Afterall, it's been almost 3 years....
I am sorry that this is just a quick update.
I hope I will brighten up soon.
Sometimes, whatever other good things I try to appreciate in my life, simply doesn't work, just.because.
We are infertile.
We simply can't get pregnant.
Showing posts with label failed cycle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failed cycle. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
CD1
A quick note - CD 1 today :)
Not to wory, am in a good place and calm and serene.
Dropped an email to my gynae about collecting clomid from her office :)
Have many tots and things to share.....soon to come :)
Thanks for all the prayers :)
Not to wory, am in a good place and calm and serene.
Dropped an email to my gynae about collecting clomid from her office :)
Have many tots and things to share.....soon to come :)
Thanks for all the prayers :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
CD2
First I must apologize for kind of 'disappearing'. Not just about not blogging, but also, I have not been commenting on my two fav blog - lifehopes and allyouwhohope.
In case you are wondering about me having gotten pregnant and sneaking off....ha ha, nope, I am back in the game again :)
And I didn't comment on your failed cycles which is what I'd normally do, is because, I was then feeling too upset and so un-positive that I just couldn't bring myself to comment. I so wanted both of you to get pregnant, because that will really be so uplifting and positive to myself and the rest of the IF community.
No worries, I am back now :) I am in a good plce, feeling alright.
I will continue the accupuncture but stop taking my TCM herbs from now, so that I can prepare my body to start on clomid after another 2 failed cycles. The reason why I need to stop the chinese herbs is because these herbs are meant to help improved my fertility system, so taking them together with clomid might over-stimulate my ovaries. About 2-3 months are needed to allow the herbs to be totally flushed out of my system.
Another thing which I have started doing, is to sprinkle cinnamon on whatever food I can :) Google cinnamon and you will get the picture. My TCM physician said it won't hurt to try this cinnamon method since cinnamon is a warming food which is good for my uterus and ovaries anyway.
In fact, I thought it might have helped in lessening my cramps this time round!
My fellow blogger friends, CHIN up! We will remain positive, and we will arrive at the day where we will see the BFP on the testing kit, and we will see the tiny sac via ultrasound, and we will hold our babies in our arms!
I pray, and I firmly believe we will do so.
In case you are wondering about me having gotten pregnant and sneaking off....ha ha, nope, I am back in the game again :)
And I didn't comment on your failed cycles which is what I'd normally do, is because, I was then feeling too upset and so un-positive that I just couldn't bring myself to comment. I so wanted both of you to get pregnant, because that will really be so uplifting and positive to myself and the rest of the IF community.
No worries, I am back now :) I am in a good plce, feeling alright.
I will continue the accupuncture but stop taking my TCM herbs from now, so that I can prepare my body to start on clomid after another 2 failed cycles. The reason why I need to stop the chinese herbs is because these herbs are meant to help improved my fertility system, so taking them together with clomid might over-stimulate my ovaries. About 2-3 months are needed to allow the herbs to be totally flushed out of my system.
Another thing which I have started doing, is to sprinkle cinnamon on whatever food I can :) Google cinnamon and you will get the picture. My TCM physician said it won't hurt to try this cinnamon method since cinnamon is a warming food which is good for my uterus and ovaries anyway.
In fact, I thought it might have helped in lessening my cramps this time round!
My fellow blogger friends, CHIN up! We will remain positive, and we will arrive at the day where we will see the BFP on the testing kit, and we will see the tiny sac via ultrasound, and we will hold our babies in our arms!
I pray, and I firmly believe we will do so.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
CD1 - It's just not meant to be, yet
I already knew it's game over once again when my temp dropped yesterday. My BBT is super consistent.
I am feeling perfectly alright, no emotional outburst nor sinking into any deep ends....I continue to function in a neutral state of mind.
I am at peace....and like what lifehopes had posted in her Rome trip post, we need to be thankful for what we already have. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, and many other things, and I must remember to be thankful about all those things. My friends may have kids, but we do know their husbands aren't exactly as wonderful, in fact some bordering on being emotionally abusive, so....
I think God is fair. Perhaps he knows, that we have especially blessed in some areas, that's why he feels we can wait longer for a kid to come into the picture. Whereas for some others, a child has to enter into their lives much earlier to make up the areas which are lacking. Yes, that's what I choose to believe. If God meant for us to be patient, then patience it shall be.
Just that I keep wondering, when will that be?
It's been 2 years plus of similar journeys....
During 2ww, once the temp dip, I would be thinking might it be an implantation dip and that the very next day, the temp would go right up again and stay elevated...and voila, BFP.
When will it be our turn - me massaging a swelling tummy, beaming, whilst husband fusses over me?
The feeling of carrying a life within me, feeling it growing, our child.
How will it look like?
There are so many many things we are missing out....we have yet to experience....
I can go on and on, but I will stop here.
It's just not meant to be, yet. When will it be? I am not fertile enough whilst husband is not virile enough.
My TCM Physician told me, relax....do relax....she said the bodies are very clever....once it detects any stress it will not respond positively. So, relax...
Her medicine and accupuncture are meant to strengthen my eggs too, hence I will not try clomid yet. If I want to, I will need to stop TCM for at least 3 months.
Can it happen in 2008 at least?
I am feeling perfectly alright, no emotional outburst nor sinking into any deep ends....I continue to function in a neutral state of mind.
I am at peace....and like what lifehopes had posted in her Rome trip post, we need to be thankful for what we already have. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, and many other things, and I must remember to be thankful about all those things. My friends may have kids, but we do know their husbands aren't exactly as wonderful, in fact some bordering on being emotionally abusive, so....
I think God is fair. Perhaps he knows, that we have especially blessed in some areas, that's why he feels we can wait longer for a kid to come into the picture. Whereas for some others, a child has to enter into their lives much earlier to make up the areas which are lacking. Yes, that's what I choose to believe. If God meant for us to be patient, then patience it shall be.
Just that I keep wondering, when will that be?
It's been 2 years plus of similar journeys....
During 2ww, once the temp dip, I would be thinking might it be an implantation dip and that the very next day, the temp would go right up again and stay elevated...and voila, BFP.
When will it be our turn - me massaging a swelling tummy, beaming, whilst husband fusses over me?
The feeling of carrying a life within me, feeling it growing, our child.
How will it look like?
There are so many many things we are missing out....we have yet to experience....
I can go on and on, but I will stop here.
It's just not meant to be, yet. When will it be? I am not fertile enough whilst husband is not virile enough.
My TCM Physician told me, relax....do relax....she said the bodies are very clever....once it detects any stress it will not respond positively. So, relax...
Her medicine and accupuncture are meant to strengthen my eggs too, hence I will not try clomid yet. If I want to, I will need to stop TCM for at least 3 months.
Can it happen in 2008 at least?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Failed cycle again
Sigh, just when I posted about being in 2WW yesterday...well wouldn't you know it...my period came last night. The day when a close friend told me she tested positive was also the day when my period came.
But I am alright, honest to God. It helps alot since I have placed myself in a neutral state of being. I haven't been charting everyday for the past 2 cycles, so in that sense I didn't really know the exact ovulation day. I no longer abstain from coffee too. Hence the fact that I'm not pregnant doesn't crush me. But of course it'd be so wonderful if I could be pregnant.
We are still at this crossroad, as to whether to try out clomid. I still have similar fear - that it won't work anyway. And I still wish that we can still get pregnant in the old-fashioned way. I really wish that to happen.
I sincerely pray to God that, this time round, even though I have failed again, please grant it to waitingforlife and allyouwhohope. At least one of us should be pregnant by now.
But I am alright, honest to God. It helps alot since I have placed myself in a neutral state of being. I haven't been charting everyday for the past 2 cycles, so in that sense I didn't really know the exact ovulation day. I no longer abstain from coffee too. Hence the fact that I'm not pregnant doesn't crush me. But of course it'd be so wonderful if I could be pregnant.
We are still at this crossroad, as to whether to try out clomid. I still have similar fear - that it won't work anyway. And I still wish that we can still get pregnant in the old-fashioned way. I really wish that to happen.
I sincerely pray to God that, this time round, even though I have failed again, please grant it to waitingforlife and allyouwhohope. At least one of us should be pregnant by now.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
CD2
Yup.....it's here again :) Amazingly, I am not too upset about it. One of the reasons is actually due to the two blogs which I frequent....their positive attitudes certainly cheer me on!
We will get there, all of us, definitely, one day.
I am really really sorry for not updating regularly. I really want to, but I just get get around to doing it. I promise to do better.
Will stop here for now!
We will get there, all of us, definitely, one day.
I am really really sorry for not updating regularly. I really want to, but I just get get around to doing it. I promise to do better.
Will stop here for now!
Monday, February 11, 2008
CD4
Sorry for not updating my blog for more than 2 weeks now… …
Allyouwhohope – thanks for asking after me. Hey I’m fine, short of being pregnant…..
I wish I could have announced that I got a BFP, but, well, no.
AF came on Friday, whilst we were relaxing by the sea in Bintan, Indonesia.
Yes, I had to have the obligatory reunion dinner with my mil during Chinese New Year Eve on last Wednesday. Then the next day, we took the ferry to Bintan for a 3 days 2 nights trip. It’s freaking expensive, but well worth it, simply because I could get away from all the gatherings of relatives and friends and colleagues.
This time round I had a 14 days LP, usually more often than not it’s 12-13. Needless to say, on DPO14, last Thursday that is, though my temperature did take a dip, I was hoping that perhaps it’s an implantation dip? Well, no. AF came on Friday.
I was alright, though. I guess relaxing by the sea did help tremendously. We discussed about what’s next too. Should we move straight to IUI? I have never tried clomid as yet. We are thinking it might not work since I have adenomoysis and DH has only a 5% morphology. Any advice?
I have had time to ponder over many stuff over the trip. I thought of coming back to blog about the changes in myself ever since I started to TTC and to suffer the bane of infertility. Oh my….all the countless silly antics too….
A part of me wishes to remain status-quo. Still hoping so much that we can get pregnant via the ‘natural way’.
But another part of me, laments that if we have moved on to IUI last year (after 1 years plus of TTC), perhaps I will be sporting a bump now, or even carrying a baby in my arms now. Simply typing that out, makes my heart aches real bad.
I have to stop here for now, will continue soon.
Allyouwhohope – thanks for asking after me. Hey I’m fine, short of being pregnant…..
I wish I could have announced that I got a BFP, but, well, no.
AF came on Friday, whilst we were relaxing by the sea in Bintan, Indonesia.
Yes, I had to have the obligatory reunion dinner with my mil during Chinese New Year Eve on last Wednesday. Then the next day, we took the ferry to Bintan for a 3 days 2 nights trip. It’s freaking expensive, but well worth it, simply because I could get away from all the gatherings of relatives and friends and colleagues.
This time round I had a 14 days LP, usually more often than not it’s 12-13. Needless to say, on DPO14, last Thursday that is, though my temperature did take a dip, I was hoping that perhaps it’s an implantation dip? Well, no. AF came on Friday.
I was alright, though. I guess relaxing by the sea did help tremendously. We discussed about what’s next too. Should we move straight to IUI? I have never tried clomid as yet. We are thinking it might not work since I have adenomoysis and DH has only a 5% morphology. Any advice?
I have had time to ponder over many stuff over the trip. I thought of coming back to blog about the changes in myself ever since I started to TTC and to suffer the bane of infertility. Oh my….all the countless silly antics too….
A part of me wishes to remain status-quo. Still hoping so much that we can get pregnant via the ‘natural way’.
But another part of me, laments that if we have moved on to IUI last year (after 1 years plus of TTC), perhaps I will be sporting a bump now, or even carrying a baby in my arms now. Simply typing that out, makes my heart aches real bad.
I have to stop here for now, will continue soon.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Yet another failed cycle - CD6
I realised that my last post was on last Tuesday DPO11. How I wished this post of mine would be screaming 'BFP! BFP! BFP!'. But hey hey, we all know by now that it's just not going to be that easy, right?
So here I am, another failed cycle.
My temperature dropped last Thursday and silly me was of course holding out on the hope that it might be an implantation dip. I am sure many women suffering from TTC/infertility issues out there would know exactly what I am talking about. Many a times I took solace in their blogs. And many a times those stuff they blogged about would bring about smile or a tear.
My period then came on Friday, and I was once again thrown into the depths of depression. It's of course well-contained during work. Work has always been my saviour and armour.
Weekend was a blur. I couldn't recall much of it except that I had simply shut down part of myself so that I wouldn't have to feel much. I still had quite several blood clots though the blood flow seemed to have lessened. So perhaps the TCM is working its magic. I hope its magic includes a BFP soon.
What now? what now? 2007 is coming to an end. What's next? The damnest thing is that I can't even do anything about my condition since I suffer from adenomyosis. I can't even do a lap or anything. I just have to WAIT. I can only wait. Wait for DH's soldiers to be stronger and strong enough to fertilize my egg and implant properly.
Holidays are here again. I dread them, I really do. I'm sure you know what I mean. I am going to try to arrange for some business trip. I am so going to try.
Sorry for all these ramblings.
So here I am, another failed cycle.
My temperature dropped last Thursday and silly me was of course holding out on the hope that it might be an implantation dip. I am sure many women suffering from TTC/infertility issues out there would know exactly what I am talking about. Many a times I took solace in their blogs. And many a times those stuff they blogged about would bring about smile or a tear.
My period then came on Friday, and I was once again thrown into the depths of depression. It's of course well-contained during work. Work has always been my saviour and armour.
Weekend was a blur. I couldn't recall much of it except that I had simply shut down part of myself so that I wouldn't have to feel much. I still had quite several blood clots though the blood flow seemed to have lessened. So perhaps the TCM is working its magic. I hope its magic includes a BFP soon.
What now? what now? 2007 is coming to an end. What's next? The damnest thing is that I can't even do anything about my condition since I suffer from adenomyosis. I can't even do a lap or anything. I just have to WAIT. I can only wait. Wait for DH's soldiers to be stronger and strong enough to fertilize my egg and implant properly.
Holidays are here again. I dread them, I really do. I'm sure you know what I mean. I am going to try to arrange for some business trip. I am so going to try.
Sorry for all these ramblings.
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