Well, I just came off from allyouwhohope blog, and decided to update my blog rightaway! Woo Hoo!
My first clomid cycle was a bust. I took it from CD5 to CD9. Ultrasound at my gynae on CD13 showed 2 follicles in my left ovary, but they weren't of big enough size, meaning clomid didn't work on me and I didn't ovulate earlier at CD14. Charting showed me ovulating around CD17/18.....
It's a dark period for me then. I was really depressed then. I really thought that, hey, it might worked the 1st round and I would be pregnant. In those darkest moments, I drew alot of strength from allyouwhohope and waitingforlife blogs. Thanks, thank so much for your entries, and prayers.
I was on 100mg clomid this second round. I didn't feel anything weird whilst taking it from CD2 to CD6, BUT since then, I started having quite bad water retention. My eyes feel pretty swollen. My left ovary was achy and crampy on CD8 and CD9 too. Perhaps that means I am ovulating soon. Our weekend will be busy :)
I am feeling much calmer now. The reason for not updating, well, just don't have much to say nor share :(
But I just wish comment that - over here in Singapore, our papers reporting about the US election, tends to lean in favor of Obama. McCain seems to come across as not as politically-intelligent whilst Pralin is embroiled in series of 'corruption investigations'. Therefore it's been really interesting to read about the different perspective offered in allyouwhohope blog.
Alright, I am sorry that I just hve to end here, because really, there's nothing more to say. Will conitnue to pray for everyone!!!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
CD7 - clomid 3rd day
I thank God that I didn't suffer severe side effects from the 50mg clomid, which I started on Fri, CD5. I am to take it from CD5 to CD9, and to go for scan on CD13, Sat.
1st day, I got kinda woozy, but work kept me focused, and I am really grateful for that! Otherwise I would be agonizing over every single twitch and itch and sensation! Yesterday was alright. Today, my uterus and ovaries feel kinda achy...not even sure how to describe that sensation. It's not painful, nor sore, just....aching....
Are all these normal?
ON the other hand, I wonder whether it will be better to have stronger reactions??? Since that will mean it's taking an effect on me? Sigh.
Alright will post again soon :)
Take care everyone. I am praying for all of us!
1st day, I got kinda woozy, but work kept me focused, and I am really grateful for that! Otherwise I would be agonizing over every single twitch and itch and sensation! Yesterday was alright. Today, my uterus and ovaries feel kinda achy...not even sure how to describe that sensation. It's not painful, nor sore, just....aching....
Are all these normal?
ON the other hand, I wonder whether it will be better to have stronger reactions??? Since that will mean it's taking an effect on me? Sigh.
Alright will post again soon :)
Take care everyone. I am praying for all of us!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
CLOMID here I comes!!!
WHOA!!! I finally did it!
It's all very fast....my gynae was able to squeeze me in around 630pm...I zipped down in a flash, had a brief consultation with her and collected the clomid!
I didn't let my husband know....so that he won't be stressed out!
:)
Of course I hope I can be lucky the first time round, BUT, even if it does't work out, at least I am happy to know that I have taken the step to try it :)
It's all very fast....my gynae was able to squeeze me in around 630pm...I zipped down in a flash, had a brief consultation with her and collected the clomid!
I didn't let my husband know....so that he won't be stressed out!
:)
Of course I hope I can be lucky the first time round, BUT, even if it does't work out, at least I am happy to know that I have taken the step to try it :)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Our country needs more babies......
I have many tots, but for now I just want to post something different.....well, it's still about babies though.
In Singapore, every year, after we celebrate our National Day on 9 Aug, our Prime Minister will deliver his Rally Speech, during which he will outline and speak at length about challenges and significant issues faced by Singapore, and at the same time, announce new schemes and policies.
And well, for this year, one focus is actually on our failing birth rate. Yes, we are in need of more babies. And our Government are prepared to fund a slew of incentives etc to encourage couple to have more babies.....
Sigh.
If any of you are interested in the details, you can read here: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/nationalday/rally_engvideo.htm
(check out 'pro-baby measures to boost birthrate')
For preggies around me, they are HAPPY, since they will be enjoying 4 months of maternity leave, which is one more month compared to previous 3 months leave. NOtably is one of my staff, the one who got preggy right after she's married.
On a separate note, last week, it suddenly dawns on me that the early signs have always been there - that I am just not fertile.
I stayed in Uni hostel throughout my 4 years of Uni education, and towards the last 2 years, I was practically cohabitating with my then boyfriend. I wasn't on the pill, and we combined condoms with my regular cycle as a form of birth control. I remembered on couple of occasions we were worried about getting pregnant, but, haha...I never, obviously.
Fast forward more than a decade later, and I learnt from mutual friends that my ex is a father of 2. And me...zero.
So, let's do the sums.....we were then at our supposedly most fertile and virile peak...basically like bunnies (sorry TMI)....and no, no, not pregnant. I mean of course it's a blessing that I didn't get pregnant then, but, I am sure you get the drift.
Sorry, that's just one the many tots I need to get it out of my system.
I think I need to do a random post soon, penning down all the various random tots, which are unfortunately, all fertility-related....
In Singapore, every year, after we celebrate our National Day on 9 Aug, our Prime Minister will deliver his Rally Speech, during which he will outline and speak at length about challenges and significant issues faced by Singapore, and at the same time, announce new schemes and policies.
And well, for this year, one focus is actually on our failing birth rate. Yes, we are in need of more babies. And our Government are prepared to fund a slew of incentives etc to encourage couple to have more babies.....
Sigh.
If any of you are interested in the details, you can read here: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/nationalday/rally_engvideo.htm
(check out 'pro-baby measures to boost birthrate')
For preggies around me, they are HAPPY, since they will be enjoying 4 months of maternity leave, which is one more month compared to previous 3 months leave. NOtably is one of my staff, the one who got preggy right after she's married.
On a separate note, last week, it suddenly dawns on me that the early signs have always been there - that I am just not fertile.
I stayed in Uni hostel throughout my 4 years of Uni education, and towards the last 2 years, I was practically cohabitating with my then boyfriend. I wasn't on the pill, and we combined condoms with my regular cycle as a form of birth control. I remembered on couple of occasions we were worried about getting pregnant, but, haha...I never, obviously.
Fast forward more than a decade later, and I learnt from mutual friends that my ex is a father of 2. And me...zero.
So, let's do the sums.....we were then at our supposedly most fertile and virile peak...basically like bunnies (sorry TMI)....and no, no, not pregnant. I mean of course it's a blessing that I didn't get pregnant then, but, I am sure you get the drift.
Sorry, that's just one the many tots I need to get it out of my system.
I think I need to do a random post soon, penning down all the various random tots, which are unfortunately, all fertility-related....
Monday, August 18, 2008
CD1
A quick note - CD 1 today :)
Not to wory, am in a good place and calm and serene.
Dropped an email to my gynae about collecting clomid from her office :)
Have many tots and things to share.....soon to come :)
Thanks for all the prayers :)
Not to wory, am in a good place and calm and serene.
Dropped an email to my gynae about collecting clomid from her office :)
Have many tots and things to share.....soon to come :)
Thanks for all the prayers :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
CD2
First I must apologize for kind of 'disappearing'. Not just about not blogging, but also, I have not been commenting on my two fav blog - lifehopes and allyouwhohope.
In case you are wondering about me having gotten pregnant and sneaking off....ha ha, nope, I am back in the game again :)
And I didn't comment on your failed cycles which is what I'd normally do, is because, I was then feeling too upset and so un-positive that I just couldn't bring myself to comment. I so wanted both of you to get pregnant, because that will really be so uplifting and positive to myself and the rest of the IF community.
No worries, I am back now :) I am in a good plce, feeling alright.
I will continue the accupuncture but stop taking my TCM herbs from now, so that I can prepare my body to start on clomid after another 2 failed cycles. The reason why I need to stop the chinese herbs is because these herbs are meant to help improved my fertility system, so taking them together with clomid might over-stimulate my ovaries. About 2-3 months are needed to allow the herbs to be totally flushed out of my system.
Another thing which I have started doing, is to sprinkle cinnamon on whatever food I can :) Google cinnamon and you will get the picture. My TCM physician said it won't hurt to try this cinnamon method since cinnamon is a warming food which is good for my uterus and ovaries anyway.
In fact, I thought it might have helped in lessening my cramps this time round!
My fellow blogger friends, CHIN up! We will remain positive, and we will arrive at the day where we will see the BFP on the testing kit, and we will see the tiny sac via ultrasound, and we will hold our babies in our arms!
I pray, and I firmly believe we will do so.
In case you are wondering about me having gotten pregnant and sneaking off....ha ha, nope, I am back in the game again :)
And I didn't comment on your failed cycles which is what I'd normally do, is because, I was then feeling too upset and so un-positive that I just couldn't bring myself to comment. I so wanted both of you to get pregnant, because that will really be so uplifting and positive to myself and the rest of the IF community.
No worries, I am back now :) I am in a good plce, feeling alright.
I will continue the accupuncture but stop taking my TCM herbs from now, so that I can prepare my body to start on clomid after another 2 failed cycles. The reason why I need to stop the chinese herbs is because these herbs are meant to help improved my fertility system, so taking them together with clomid might over-stimulate my ovaries. About 2-3 months are needed to allow the herbs to be totally flushed out of my system.
Another thing which I have started doing, is to sprinkle cinnamon on whatever food I can :) Google cinnamon and you will get the picture. My TCM physician said it won't hurt to try this cinnamon method since cinnamon is a warming food which is good for my uterus and ovaries anyway.
In fact, I thought it might have helped in lessening my cramps this time round!
My fellow blogger friends, CHIN up! We will remain positive, and we will arrive at the day where we will see the BFP on the testing kit, and we will see the tiny sac via ultrasound, and we will hold our babies in our arms!
I pray, and I firmly believe we will do so.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
CD1 - It's just not meant to be, yet
I already knew it's game over once again when my temp dropped yesterday. My BBT is super consistent.
I am feeling perfectly alright, no emotional outburst nor sinking into any deep ends....I continue to function in a neutral state of mind.
I am at peace....and like what lifehopes had posted in her Rome trip post, we need to be thankful for what we already have. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, and many other things, and I must remember to be thankful about all those things. My friends may have kids, but we do know their husbands aren't exactly as wonderful, in fact some bordering on being emotionally abusive, so....
I think God is fair. Perhaps he knows, that we have especially blessed in some areas, that's why he feels we can wait longer for a kid to come into the picture. Whereas for some others, a child has to enter into their lives much earlier to make up the areas which are lacking. Yes, that's what I choose to believe. If God meant for us to be patient, then patience it shall be.
Just that I keep wondering, when will that be?
It's been 2 years plus of similar journeys....
During 2ww, once the temp dip, I would be thinking might it be an implantation dip and that the very next day, the temp would go right up again and stay elevated...and voila, BFP.
When will it be our turn - me massaging a swelling tummy, beaming, whilst husband fusses over me?
The feeling of carrying a life within me, feeling it growing, our child.
How will it look like?
There are so many many things we are missing out....we have yet to experience....
I can go on and on, but I will stop here.
It's just not meant to be, yet. When will it be? I am not fertile enough whilst husband is not virile enough.
My TCM Physician told me, relax....do relax....she said the bodies are very clever....once it detects any stress it will not respond positively. So, relax...
Her medicine and accupuncture are meant to strengthen my eggs too, hence I will not try clomid yet. If I want to, I will need to stop TCM for at least 3 months.
Can it happen in 2008 at least?
I am feeling perfectly alright, no emotional outburst nor sinking into any deep ends....I continue to function in a neutral state of mind.
I am at peace....and like what lifehopes had posted in her Rome trip post, we need to be thankful for what we already have. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, and many other things, and I must remember to be thankful about all those things. My friends may have kids, but we do know their husbands aren't exactly as wonderful, in fact some bordering on being emotionally abusive, so....
I think God is fair. Perhaps he knows, that we have especially blessed in some areas, that's why he feels we can wait longer for a kid to come into the picture. Whereas for some others, a child has to enter into their lives much earlier to make up the areas which are lacking. Yes, that's what I choose to believe. If God meant for us to be patient, then patience it shall be.
Just that I keep wondering, when will that be?
It's been 2 years plus of similar journeys....
During 2ww, once the temp dip, I would be thinking might it be an implantation dip and that the very next day, the temp would go right up again and stay elevated...and voila, BFP.
When will it be our turn - me massaging a swelling tummy, beaming, whilst husband fusses over me?
The feeling of carrying a life within me, feeling it growing, our child.
How will it look like?
There are so many many things we are missing out....we have yet to experience....
I can go on and on, but I will stop here.
It's just not meant to be, yet. When will it be? I am not fertile enough whilst husband is not virile enough.
My TCM Physician told me, relax....do relax....she said the bodies are very clever....once it detects any stress it will not respond positively. So, relax...
Her medicine and accupuncture are meant to strengthen my eggs too, hence I will not try clomid yet. If I want to, I will need to stop TCM for at least 3 months.
Can it happen in 2008 at least?
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